How (Not) to Ally is a series discussing the supportive content made by well-meaning asexual allies to allo-aros–and why some approaches still fail to recognise, promote, welcome, protect and include us.
Allo-aros are now more commonly referenced in asexual-authored content discussing the aromantic and a-spec communities. That’s great! We need acknowledgement of our needs, viewpoints and experiences. We need our allies including us in discussions of amatonormativity and a-spec/aro antagonism, especially when they occur in broader a-spec spaces in which we don’t yet safe or comfortable.
Unfortunately, this means seeing comments like these:
- “Allo-aros feel alienated from the a-spec community”
- “I’ve heard allo-aros say they don’t feel allowed to mention their allosexuality”
- “Allo-aros often talk about how to include them in community projects”
Inclusion also means witnessing a direction that’s become horribly overused:
- “To learn more, go follow allo-aro blogs!”
This always leaves me wondering: which allo-aro discussed that? Which allo-aro activist or creator provided resources outlining community inclusion? Which allo-aro blogs does the speaker think we should follow? Why are our asexual allies so reluctant to mention us by name?